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It’s hard to get any rest during the holidays. Travel is abysmal, family-time can be exhausting. Assuming you’re over the age of ten, you’re expected to help cook a pretty epic feast.

LEMON ICEBOX PIE (Or Lemon Poor-Man’s Cheesecake)

This recipe for Lemon Icebox Pie is so easy it doesn’t even require an oven. It uses cream cheese instead of cool whip, and thus takes on the quality of a lemon-flavored poor-man’s cheesecake which is a perfectly acceptable second name if you think that will impress a family member.

Ingredients:

1 8oz pack cream cheese
1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup of lemon juice (use real lemons)
1 9-inch pre-made graham cracker crust

Directions:

Put the first three ingredients in a bowl and whip with an electric mixer until it’s all one substance. Add the drop of yellow if needed, and mix again. Then pour the lemon filling into the graham cracker crust and smooth out with a rubber spatula. Set in the fridge for at least three hours.

As far as garnish is concerned, that’s totally up to you. But, feel free to sprinkle with graham crackers or Nilla Wafers if you find some in your cupboard. Just check the date to make sure they weren’t bought for an afternoon snack when you were in 6th grade. Also, there’s a good chance someone in your family will have picked up a can of whipped cream, so you should at least set that out with the pie.

DONUT HOT CHOCOLATE

Ingredients:

1 Donut, preferably cakey chocolate glazed
2 Cups of whole milk
4 packs of your favorite hot chocolate mix.
A pinch of salt

Directions:

Pour the milk in a blender and add the donut. Blend until smooth. The original recipe says this could take over a minute, so be patient. Transfer into a saucepan, add the salt and whisk over medium heat for three to four minutes until hot. Pour into four cups and top with a heaping mountain of mini marshmallows.

JIFFY CORNBREAD

Ingredients:

2 (8 ounce) boxes Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 (8 ounce) can creamed corn
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs
2/3 cup milk

Directions:

Mix cornbread as directed on package.
Add in corn and cheese.
Bake 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.

PINEAPPLE CANDIED YAMS

Ingredients:

3 (15 2/3 ounce) cans yams
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 (10 1/2 ounce) package miniature marshmallows
1 (19 ounce) can chunk pineapple, packed in its own juice

Directions:

Drain yams and pineapple (save the pineapple juice)
In a pot, add pineapple juice, sugar, and ’10′ marshmallows.
Put yams in a 9×13-inch casserole dish and pour mixture over top.
Top with pineapple chunks.
Put into a 300°F oven for 40 minutes
Top with remaining marshmallows (or amount you prefer).
Put casserole back into oven for 10 minutes to soften and slightly melt marshmallows.
Watch closely because marshmallows puff up quickly and may burn.

SPIKED EGGNOG LATTE

Ingredients:

2 cups eggnog
1 large glug bourbon
1 large glug rum
1 cup hot coffee
Pinch of nutmeg

Directions:

Find a designated driver. Heat the eggnog over medium-low heat on the stove. Do not let it boil. Pour the warm mixture into the blender with alcohol and coffee and blend until frothy. Pour into four glasses and garnish each with a pinch of nutmeg.

CARBWICH

Ingredients:

Two slices of your favorite sandwich bread
Mashed potatoes
Stuffing
Cranberry Sauce
Gravy

Directions:

Toast the bread and heat up the mashed potatoes and gravy in the microwave. I like to leave the stuffing cold. Spread a thin coat of cranberry sauce on one slice of bread, followed by a heaping layer of stuffing. Mush some mashed potatoes onto the other slice and bring the two sides’ faces together until they are one unit known as a sandwich. If it weighs less than 2 lbs you did it wrong. Pour the gravy in a small bowl for dipping sauce.