Hollywood, MD – The old rock song goes “Love Is a Battlefield.” It’s true and furthermore, Valentine’s Day is a minefield. So many people who think they’ve found love are not prepared for combat. These pathetic war stories have been compiled and some of them are worth telling again.

In 2009, Cosmopolitan writer Ashley Womble gathered some “Valentine’s Day Horror Stories” from readers. One of the better (or worst) stories was submitted by “Katrina,” then age 19.

Dream Date Disaster – A new guy surprised me by planning the perfect Valentine’s Day date: a romantic dinner followed by fireworks show on the beach. Everything was great until the check arrived. He asked me, “Should we split it or do you just want to pay for your meal?” After dinner we took a walk on the pier. He bumped into a girl, who was obviously his ex-girlfriend, and after talking and laughing for about 20 minutes without including me he finally said, “Oh sorry, this is my friend, Kat.” We broke up the next day.

Rachel, then 22, submitted this eye-opener to Cosmo.

The guy I’d been dating, Clay, was totally MIA on Valentine’s Day. At first I was worried, but after not hearing from him all day I started to get pissed. That night I got a call from the county jail, asking me to accept a collect call from…Clay! He had stolen his parents’ brand-new car and they reported it to the police. Even though I have a thing for bad boys, I broke up that loser the next day.

In 2013, Redbook journalist Lauren Levine presented a compilation of Valentine’s Day disasters. One of the top stories was submitted by “Mary.”

Valentine’s Day happens to also be my birthday, and on my 30th birthday, my then-boyfriend took me to our local bar to celebrate. I thought, ‘What a great guy!’ During our date, he got a phone call and said he had to go into work. He gave me 50 dollars and said he was sorry, but I should keep celebrating with the friends that were also at the bar. Too bad I later found out that he had to leave to celebrate Valentine’s Day with his other girlfriend.

Teenagers in love also experience Valentine’s Day angst. “Kristin” submitted her story to Redbook via Facebook.
In seventh grade, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone while I was home sick from school on Valentine’s Day. He then asked out my best friend, and they went to V-Day dance together.

Think Health Magazine published a collection of “best and worst” Valentine’s memories. This story from “PC” was arguably the worst.
It was a week before Valentine’s Day and the buzz around town was on, I noticed however that my boyfriend was a bit quiet about the issue. Thinking nothing of it I said to myself “oh well, he just doesn’t want to spoil the surprise gift he has for me.” On valentines morning he called and we talked as usual, so I rushed over to his place thinking that was my hint to come over. To my surprise, he was still lounged in pajamas on the couch with a blank look. When he saw the gift I bought him, he said “oh, sorry hun, I forgot to tell you I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day” I stood there with my mouth wide open and speechless.

Women’s Health is another publication that has documented the horrors of Valentine’s, as demonstrated by this story from “Michelle C” about a bad Valentine’s Day gift.
My high school boyfriend bought me a pair of used ankle boots from a yard sale. He was proud of himself for adding shoe polish before he gave them to me.

Another story submitted to Seventeen recalled the embarrassment that occurred the day after Valentine’s. The story was told by Clara of Washington, DC.
My best friend, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and I made plans to get Valentine’s Day dinner together. The restaurant was close to my boyfriend’s house, so we all went over there after school to hang out beforehand. At some point, my friend and I scurried upstairs to change out of our school clothes and into something cuter — and I accidentally left the pants I’d been wearing at school behind at my boyfriend’s house. The next day, he gave the pants back to me in the hallway before class, saying ‘Here — you left these at my house.’ Apparently his mom had found them and had asked a lot of questions (and so did my friends).

Finally, Jacob of Boston didn’t get his heart broken on Valentine’s Day but he proved to be the “Anti-Cupid” at a badly arranged Valentine’s Party. He told his story to Seventeen.
On Valentine’s Day my senior year of high school, my mom decided it would be a good idea to invite the extended family over. Her cousin had just gotten divorced, and somehow both the cousin and the ex showed up. Cue the stiffest family gathering you could ask for. You could seriously feel the tension through the whole house. This surreal nightmare culminated in me clogging the toilet, which caused a pipe to burst, which caused a massive leak about five feet from where everyone was sitting eating cheese.

Cheese, what a party! Please try to have a happy Valentine’s Day!

Contact Marty Madden at marty.madden@thebaynet.com