EDITOR’S NOTE: Since Dr. Carol Drury has become a regular on Baynet Radio and considering the fact that many people look to the new year as a time to correct things in their lives, we thought we’d ask Dr. Drury for some advice she could pass along to people desiring change, but never seeming to be able to accomplish any real progress. What follows is the good doctor’s advice. Check out the Dr. Carol show each Thursday at 11:30 a.m. on Baynet Radio.
Don’t listen to anybody – We sometimes get stuck in our own little ways of thinking about or doing things. Other people can be helpful to give us a new perspective or new possibilities
Listen to everybody – At the same time, letting other people’s views of the world or what is right for you dominate your life can put you in danger of losing yourself and your sensibilities.
Endlessly analyze and don’t make any changes – It’s fine to understand what is going on with you, others or the world, but be careful of the analysis paralysis trap.
Blame others for your actions or problems – Not everything is everybody else’s fault. if you find that is your usual stance or interpretation, try imagining that you had a part in creating this situation.
Blame yourself or put yourself down regularly – On the other hand, you are not always to blame. And putting yourself down regularly is probably something you took on long ago as a habit that doesn’t serve you well. It can demoralize you and undermine your confidence.
Keep doing the same thing that doesn’t work – Do something different if what you are doing is not working. Remember that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Keep focusing on the same things when that focus doesn’t help – Try shifting your attention in another direction. They say the only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions. Get out of your ruts
Keep thinking the same thoughts when those thoughts don’t help – There’s nothing as dangerous as an idea, when it is the only one you have, claims Emile Chartier. Don’t believe everything you think!
Keep putting yourself in the same unhelpful environment – While there are ways to transcend one’s environment, it is often easier to get the heck out of there (unless that is your usual pattern; in that case, try sticking around). A tree that needs water doesn’t do well in the desert. One difference between a tree and a human being is that the human can get up and move to a more nurturing environment.
Keep relating to the same unhelpful people – It is probably wiser to minimize your contact with people who put you down, who gossip, who are acting in a mean-spirited way, or with whom you regularly end up feeling bad after your encounters with them.
