Ready for some fun? Here are some facts you might have missed in school.

• Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.
Is it that big of an emergency that you have to crack or attack your own porcelain god?

• A tapir has the largest penis-to-body ratio of any animal.
So that’s why my ex-boyfriend gave himself the nickname The Tapir…

• Birds don’t urinate.
That makes the perfect road trip passenger.

• The toothpaste ‘Colgate’ in Spanish translates to ‘go hang yourself’.
This is exactly why I don’t brush my teeth.

• Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
If you think about it, people not cleaning up after their pets are really just leaving little gifts for summertime bug bites to perfect strangers.

• There is a species of spider called the Hobo Spider.
Thanks a lot Obama, now you’re even affecting our spiders!