Love Mail: “The ‘How’s and Why’s of Computering’ are too much”

This was a letter sent to The Love Scholar, making it his 4th column article.  The letter is posted below, followed by a response from The Love Scholar.  To view his bio along with other column articles Click Here.

Dear Love Scholar,

I read your article last week on communication and have a dilemma that I would like your advice. My boyfriend (who is a great guy) is a total computer geek and anytime I have a problem with my computer my boyfriend not only helps “fix” the problem, he wants to give me an in-depth history of the problem believing that if I understand the background and reason for the problem, I may be able to prevent it from happening in the future.  Although I truly appreciate his help and care, the lengthy dissertation about the “how’s and why’s of computering” is too much. 

To me, computers are a “necessary evil” and I really have no interest in making them my “best friend”.  I appreciated and have used kmartini’s recommendation to say “go on” when my focus wanes, however, that will not work when there is a “test” at the end of my boyfriend’s “computer monologue”.  I do care and love this man and I do know that he has my best interest at heart.  How do I become interested in a topic that I really don’t care about?

-Lost in (Computer) Translation

Lost in Computer Translation,

In today’s society, computers are used so extensively in almost every occasion.  The information age has come and computer technology is all around us.  In many cases it’s almost hard to find a guy now that isn’t totally computer savvy.   I should know; my entire work day is spent in front of a computer screen.  That is why I’m sure not only you, but many people may have this dilemma with their boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband.

I understand your issue here of constantly being lectured about his “computer crash course” whenever there is a small problem needing fixed on your computer.  It sounds like this guy might be one of those engineer types that insists on giving all the background information to a computer feature or problem.  I’m sure in his mind he is doing you a great service in helping you understand the issue so you yourself can be more “tech” aware. 

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