LEONARDTOWN, Md. — A Mechanicsville woman says holidays will never be the same for her family after the new owner of Charles Memorial Gardens banned many types of grave decorations. “What was once a beautiful peaceful welcoming place has turned cold and dark.”
Shannon Nelson said several members of her family, including her late brother, Buddy Rowley, are buried at the Leonardtown cemetery. Nelson said that part of the reason her family chose the location for her brother’s final resting place was the freedom it offered families to personalize gravesites. “You could once go in there and you would feel welcome. It stood out. It was beautiful.”
Her family took great care to decorate Buddy’s grave. Nelson said they landscaped with stone, fencing, and shepherd’s hooks to hold decorations. Every year, the family put up a Christmas tree at his grave.
No Notice About Changes
Shannon said the cemetery didn’t notify the family of the rule changes, she heard about it all on Facebook and called the office. “We were told by the office that we had to take everything down or it would be thrown in the trash.”
But Shannon claims she was also told that they would still be able to put up a Christmas tree. However, the cemetery changed its mind. “We were told two weeks ago that we could not put a tree up, now.” She said the office offered no reason for the change in policy other than those are the new rules.
Completely Heartbroken
“My parents are completely heartbroken. I go there and decorate every holiday.” Shannon says the family has put a live tree up at the grave every year since her brother passed away in 2014 at the age of 24. “We can’t do anything for our loved ones because they are gone. This is all we can’t do for them My kids can’t buy their uncle a Christmas present, but they can buy a knickknack and put it on their grave.”
The new rules have hit Nelson’s mother hard. “My mom breaks down and cries. She says it feels like we’re abandoning him. We can’t do anything for him. It feels very cold there now.”
Nelson says her family not only decorated Buddy’s grave for Christmas, but for other holidays and his birthdays. When her family vacationed, her children would buy items to place on their uncle’s grave. “It was beautiful. It’s not like people took advantage of it and it looked like trash.”
She said her family especially enjoyed visiting the cemetery at night to see the Christmas lights on her brother’s tree, but now nighttime visits are no longer permitted.
Nelson says she asked to speak to the cemetery’s new owner, Wade Earnshaw but was told he’s never there. She has this message for him, “Let us go back to taking care of our loved ones. Let us re-decorate. Don’t stop us from caring for our loved ones. This is all I can do for them.”
She said her parents have taken some of the items removed from her brother’s grave to create a memorial at home.
