LEONARDTOWN, Md. – A Leonardtown Cemetery’s decision to change the rules and ban many forms of grave decoration has caused controversy.
The mother of a teenager whose final resting place is at Charles Memorial Gardens feels it’s all a matter of respect.
Melissa Willey is the mother of Jaelynn Willey. Sixteen year old Jaelynn was murdered at Great Mills High School back in 2018. Willey said that her family chose Charles Memorial Gardens because it allowed families to personalize the graves. “Lots of spots were decorated to how the family and friends remembered their person. It is very important to myself and my children to be able to leave things for Jaelynn. I keep a small fence and keep it well maintained.”
Ms. Willey said had she known a sale was possible, she’d have chosen another cemetery. “Had I know when we put Jaelynn there the cemetery was for sale and this is the new owner, I would have never ever put her there.” She says the previous owners were compassionate and kind. According to the grieving mother, the new owner, Wade Earnshaw, is a different story.
Earnshaw bought the cemetery at the end of last year. Ms. Willey said the problems started in January when the cemetery cleared of all Christmas grave decorations and piled them up in the parking lot. “While I agree things needed to be cleaned up it was after Christmas, it was terribly sad the way it was done.”
This June, Charles Memorial Gardens put up notices at the cemetery gate that many types of decoration are no longer permitted, including:
- landscaping
- fencing
- stands
- boxes
- easels
- pots
- cans
- shepherd hooks and rods
- benches
- glass containers
- lawn ornaments
- breakable items
- valuable personal memorabilia
However, families said they were not personally notified about the change in rules.
Patricia Kent, who has two grandchildren, Kaveh and Rielle, buried at Charles Memorial Gardens said, “I feel management should be trying to stand-up for us and explaining to the new owner, Mr. Earnshaw that through all these years there has NEVER been any issues with items placed with loved ones at Charles Memorial Gardens.”
Ms. Kent said she was startled to find a dumpster at the cemetery stuffed with flowers and other items. She provided pictures of what she discovered.
When TheBayNet spoke to someone at Charles Memorial Gardens last week, we were told the new rules were intended to clean up the cemetery and make maintenance easier. Ms. Willey said she understands and offered to help find a solution. “I did express my concern several times. A few times in the office. And a few times to the owner. I have literally begged him to leave peoples spots alone and create a committee to help maintain resting spots. I have offered to head that committee off and be a direct contact person for him. We have volunteered to help clean spots that needed it. Especially, if there are families that have either moved, or passed on and there is no one to do it.”
Ms. Willey said the new owner needs to understand how much the ritual of maintaining these memorials matters to families. “These are the last things as living family members we can do for our loved ones. If he wants to implement these rules, I want to work with him and see if we can be flexible on both sides.”
In the end, she says it’s a matter of respect. “Our loved ones should be respected.” Besides, she says, the cemetery actually looks worse now that the small memorials and landscaping have been removed.